Online Friendships? Beware

106110-Fake-Friends

Hi everyone. Today I just wanted to share a very unpleasant experience I just had.

A few months ago I had met someone on social media. This person was always kind, always left nice comments and then this person began sending me gifts. I have to be honest, at first I was a little irked by this but I thought well I guess they are just a very nice person who likes to do nice things for others. We began talking a lot online and then we were on the phone almost every day, two and three times a day for the last few months. 

I……thought we were very close. More like sisters than friends. I shared very intimate details of my life with this person. During this time, the gifts kept coming and I kept saying thank you but please don’t spend any more money on me, don’t send me any more gifts,  it’s very nice but I don’t need things, our friendship is blessing enough and I meant it. I felt uncomfortable with all the gifts but regardless of how many times I said no I can’t accept it was given anyway and I didn’t want to send it back because I didn’t want to insult them. I should have listened to myself and done just that.

Well, sadly it turns out this person was not what they said they were.. After doing some thinking I realize I was manipulated. This person suddenly flipped out on me(at the worst time because I had, had a VERY bad morning that morning and they knew how upset I was because we spoke on the phone about it, so basically they kicked me when I was down) because they didn’t like the way I was living an accused me of being all kinds of things (which are not true) for no good reason.. The funny part is for all the criticism they threw at me they are simply no different than I am, act no different than I do with the exception of one aspect. I don’t try and buy people and then try to dictate to them how they should live and be. 

So because I am not what this person thinks I should be, and I am not living how this person thinks I should be they, after having been cruel with words, in an instant blocked me from their social media and cut me off at the knees like I never existed. Before I was blocked (for no good reason either) I responded in kind and was told that I was being hostile. Hostile??? Really??? NO, I was not hostile, I was hurt, very hurt and still am. I thought this person was a best friend, a sister. Two titles I do NOT give out easily, I opened my heart to them and I trusted them.

But even for as bad as I might feel about this all is not lost because I have learned a few valuable lessons. 

  1. If someone comes at you bearing gifts (especially when they don’t really know you), and that same someone keeps sending you gifts despite your constant telling them not too, and that same someone does not take no for an answer in reference to these gifts, be aware. Be VERY aware. Something isn’t right.. You’re being bought.

2.  As for myself, my hurt will heal (and my personal embarrassment at being so stupid) and I will not allow this to make me bitter but I will never again open my heart to an “online stranger”. I will never again trust an “online stranger” and I will leave them or keep them as two things. Acquaintances or strangers.

3. I will never fall victim again to allowing myself to be bought because now I know what it looks like and I will not allow myself to ever be manipulated by someone again by believing everything they tell me about themselves.

 To sum up, looking back now I see a pattern that I didn’t allow myself to see. This person told me about other “friendships” they had and how it was hard for them to trust anyone etc. and for one reason or another this person had cut them off( and it was always the fault of the other person).  So, for all of you who have “online only friends” be careful. Be very very careful. I should have known better. I’ve been online for over a decade and I’ve seen a lot I’ve just never been victim too it until now. I always took people at their word and I realize now that I can no longer do that. Do not believe everything someone tells you. People are not honest. They will paint themselves to be whoever or whatever they want you to believe or even scarier what they believe themselves to be…

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18 thoughts on “Online Friendships? Beware

  1. Hi Robyn-
    I saw your picture in IG and watched part of the video on YT… Anyway, I’ve followed your blog for years– mostly, I read. I hope this message goes through, I recently left you a message here on another post— wants and needs – but it didn’t go through.
    Anyway, enough of that.
    I wanted to say that I’m sorry this has happened to you.
    It doesn’t just happen to online friends. I have some real life friends… And they match the description you’ve given. Get close, pump for information, give gifts( unwarranted) and the craziest thing all the friends that they have… Mysteriously fall away AND ITS ALWAYS THEIR FAULT , never this families fault.
    I still see them online, haven’t been unfriended yet, but know someday it will come. I truly thought at one time we were friends, but have discovered I’m a convenience for them. It is sad, but I have distanced myself from them.

    It does hurt. I hope that God will heal your heart. Know when I say, people are selfish, but there are those who truly do Love their neighbors as themselves… And Love God more. I pray that God will help you to find friends like that.

    Pat @ corn

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    • Hi Pat!!! So glad to see you here.. Yes I like to read too.. I tried YouTube for a bit and while I like it I really really missed my blog. Ive always been a better writer than a talker not that Im real good but better than talking..LOL.. Im sorry about your experience too.. Yeah, I just dont’ get it… I still dont’ understand what benefit they got from it besides spending a lot of money on me but who knows.. You never can tell what a persons motive is…I agree there are some who truly love their neighbor as themselves sadly though, they are so few and far between in this world and getting worse..Thank you so much for the prayers Pat and coming to my blog.. XOXO

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  2. I haven’t been getting anything alerting me of a new posting. Hmmm I must have messed up when I registered with your blog. I’m very sorry you went thru this experience. Is this person a person of faith? I’ve never had that type of experience and I gave a couple of people that I’ve watched for a long time that exchange text with me. I know there can be bad apples in any bunch be it if you meet in person or Internet. Myself because I don’t volunteer there are times if I’m blessed, the Holy Spirit will put something like a feeling that I want to bless another person. It would be a little strange if someone continued sending gifts upon gifts etc. friendships can’t be bought. I hope this experience doesn’t hender true people that really love ya. Hope the babies get a medicine that works.
    Love, marnie

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    • Hi Marnie, I guess she has faith but she wasn’t one to show it..She has issue’s with people not responding to certain things and situations as she would. With her everything seems to be cut an dry unless she has a problem. The kind of attitude I guess which is like “its my way or no way”.. I should have seen it and I did but I ignored it.. She’s done this to others, or so she told me she did and of course it’s always the other persons fault so who knows….Well thats what it felt like, like being bought and of course when I raised that comment I was assured that was not it but now I can’t see it any other way.. I don’t honestly know what it benefited her but who knows what makes people do what they do.. I will continue to pray for her and for myself that God will help me forgive her.. Thank you so much Marnie for reading my post and commenting. I hope you’re having a wonderful weekend.. XO

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  3. Hi Robyn!!
    I’m so sorry this happened to you….there are a lot of really nice people on YT and some that aren’t so nice. We can only go by what people tell us.
    Take good care of your self, Lou and the babies and have a great week-end!!
    Love you, Jodi & Katie

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  4. This is a tough experience. It sounds like the person has relational problems and hopefully it will ease your hurt to know this about the situation. It helps you to know it is not something you did or could be aware of. As far as the gifts go–people have different love languages. I have read that some people only feel love when they get gifts and so that is also how they express love. It sounds like this person really was trying to express love by giving gifts. Sure the person might have had some manipulation too, but I guess we all often have mixed motives that we are not always aware of. I am like you, in that, it makes me awkward to get lots of gifts. But I personally know people like this who actually need someone to give them something to really feel loved. People just are made differently. This person ended up being judgmental and yes, that is not a true friend. I hope you can forgive the person. The person probably needs much growth in their ability socially–I will pray today for the person and pray that this will be a start in showing them their neediness and help them to see what they were doing to you. May the Spirit of God bring you comfort as well. So sorry for your ruptured relationship and the hurt it must bring!

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  5. Hi Robyn…I’m so sorry to read this! Don’t let one bad experience ruin your other friendships! Well, I know this isn’t your first but there really are some of us that hold you dear to our hearts…I may not “know” you but I still consider you a friend! Take care sweet lady…

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  6. Thank you for sharing your experience. I am sure this was not an easy experience to go through but also a tough one to write about.
    I think it is hard with online friends. You are right, online people can be whoever they want to be and you may never know who they are. I am glad that you found the truth about this person before the friendship went any further .
    I have made a few good friends online – and my friendship has grown over time, but the truth is you never really know if they are showing their true self. I suppose even if I met them in person, it may take awhile for them to show their true self. I do know of one lady that seems to befriend a lot of YouTube people. I like to be nice and be friendly as well as I have friends that I met from watching them on YouTube, but she seems to take it a step over.
    I am so sorry though as I know your feelings and heart must have been hurt. Hopefully this person leaves you alone.
    However, please do not discredit all online people who want to be friendly with you. 😊 Not everyone is crazy.
    Hope all is well with you , Lou, and your Furbabies.

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  7. Thank you for sharing your experience. I am sure this was not was not any easy experience to go through but also a tough one to write about.
    I think it is hard with online friends. I know I have met people online that overtime I have come close and become friends
    and I value their friendship. You are right, online people can be whoever they want to be and you may never know who they are. I am glad that you found the truth about this person before the friendship went any farther. I am so sorry though as I know your feelings and heart must have been hurt. Hopefully this person leaves you alone. However, please do not discredit all online people who want to be friendly with you. 😊 Not everyone is crazy.
    Hope all is well with you , Lou, and your Furbabies.

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  8. OMG, My heart if broken for you. I am so so sorry someone could do that to you. Of all people, you are one of the most “real” honest, caring, loving person I have ever met through You Tube. I may not watch a lot of videos like I use to but I have known you just about since I started You Tube (would you believe almost a year). This really makes it harder for other people who are real and true friends. I have noticed there are people who gives someone material things but when that person does not do same in return then you never hear from them again. I am like you I don’t want anything from anyone just a friendship, that is why I do You Tube. I have no friends that physically live close to me so I reach out and have developed friendships, through You Tube and when someone does something like that to you, then you lose trust in people and become very guarded as to who want to befriend. I know for me I am now very aware and will be very cautious! I am so so sorry that this has happened.

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    • Hi Liz.. Yes you’re right.. You know, Im the kind of person when I send something to someone I don’t expect anything in return and I truly mean that. The Lord tells us to give without expectation but unfortunately some people aren’t like that.. You also have to be careful on YouTube especially because some people will send you things just hoping you’ll help them build their channel and once you do they take off.. So you just never know, you know…Thank you so much for coming to my blog Liz. It means a lot to me because I really do love to write on it.. Thank you again 🙂 XO

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