I'm Feeling It Lately

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There are many days, okay, most days that I try very hard not to complain, not to show how I am feeling and or I blow it off as no big deal but lately, sheeweee, I am having a really hard time with this. 

I am beginning to wonder if the last Twenty Two or Twenty Six years are finally catching up with me. I say take your pick between years because I was originally diagnosed with Lyme Disease in 1990 but it didn’t completely disabled me until 1994 so, take your pick. To me, twenty two, twenty six, it really doesn’t matter. Bottom line is, it’s been a long time. 

The last eight months or so I now suffer daily, excruciating pain like I never had in all my years of chronic illness. Which tells me, either something ‘new’ is going on or the old stuff is getting worse. I haven’t figured it out yet, don’t know if I ever will. 

One of the hardest parts is living in the South none of the doctors here and trust me, I’ve seen plenty of them understand , are not educated in nor do they care to be educated in Lyme disease and it’s associated tick born illnesses. It kind of leaves me hanging on a cliff daily just wondering when I’ll fall over. Not the easiest way to live but, I have faith that God knows what’s in store for me be it good or bad I know He will be with me.

Each day I literally drag myself out of bed and force myself to begin the day with whatever that entails. Usually it’s feeding the five mouths with four paws and then it’s off to the races taking care to see my husband has what he needs and then what my house needs. In typical female fashion I put my own needs last but as of late, I’m not even sure what those needs are anymore. See what I’m saying? My brain fog is so thick that if I were a boat lost at sea in the fog I’d capsize and drown. Not so sure I’m not drowning now but I will continue to do as I try too. Each day I will give my life and my day to the Lord, ask for guidance, ask for the intelligence to recognize his guidance and then follow it and Him. 

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9 thoughts on “I'm Feeling It Lately

  1. Sorry to hear about how you are feeling—I can empathize with you on the brain fog for sure!!! It comes with a lot of the autoimmune diseases and it comes with mine. It drives me crazy because I have to sometimes use many words because I can’t remember the right word ! Part of this may also be because of my muscle relaxer ;-). Friday , with the tropical storm, puts those with arthritis at extreme risk. I have been experiencing an improvement with the pain levels being a lot lower (I have been on a special diet and with the muscle relaxers it seems to be helping). Sooooo this will be a test for me—I guess I can still have flares ! I hope you won’t feel too horrible over the next few days; I mean I hope you won’t feel worse than you already do! But if you do remember it can be from this storm this week. Take care!

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  2. I wish you could find the medical help you need and deserve. It makes me angry that you are suffering to doctors ignorance, and unwillingness to help you. I had a friend remind me that many doctors are just people that can memorize facts and are good at taking tests. That is were there knowledge ends.
    I understand about being tired of the chronic pain. About 12 years I was hit in a car accidnent –
    Not even my fault and my life has forever changed. It seems if it can happen to anyone it will happen to me and this is how my life feels since then. I have been recently diagnosed with thyroid issues. I’ve never had issues but due to being very ill and some outside stress, I am sick. I am experiencing the fog you speak of and it is thick. I forget things, names, etc…. Feel drained and the last losing my hair at an alarming rate. They don’t know what is going on as my body is not responding to the meds. I want to have those days were I am sick of tired of being sick and feel sorry for myself, but I know that someone is having it worse than me somewhere.
    I pray that you will get the health care that you rightfully deserve and that you will find a doctor who will fight for you. I believe that God is watching over you, and that he will take care of you and make you feel better one day. I pray for this for you. For you deserve it. Hugs my friend. 💖🙏🏽

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  3. Hello Robyn, my heart goes out to you for feeling so sick. I pray for you (and Lou) each day. We know God is watching over you and will help. All mylove
    Carol

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  4. I wish that you could find the medical help you need. It’s more than hard to suffer so much and not have the answers you deserve. I pray that some day soon you will find doctor that can somehow help you. Much love sent to you. xo!

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