Have you ever wanted something so much that you completely stressed yourself out for months trying to make it happen?
I have. A few years back I wanted to move back North desperately for many reasons. Mostly for my health because the medical help I need is up in the North East whereas I am in the South East. Being that we are not financially well off and all that comes with that, ie: credit scores, ready cash and the list goes on I was still looking at every single avenue possible and believe it or not there are options. Of course those options are only available if, they are supposed to happen.
I can not tell you how many times we hit a brick wall just as we got so close to our goal we could just about taste it. Four different times. Finally, after being completely stressed out to the point of exhaustion and panic attacks I said, “Okay God, I don’t know whats happening here but one thing is glaringly obvious. You do not want us to move. I don’t pretend to understand why especially when you know my medical needs and how they are not being met here but I can’t do this anymore. YOU lead. Im tired. I realized over those months I was pushing back against what God had in store for us and my arms were finally tired.
Very short back story. Our mortgage was outrageous, our home was underwater in a big way and we were drowning financially. It was getting time to just walk away. In the midst of this raging storm I had, on a whim put in papers with our mortgage company asking for a modification to the mortgage. I knew it wouldn’t happen but I figured, doesn’t hurt to ask right?
On Good Friday, which also happened to be my birthday a few years ago my husband and I were sitting in our den completely wiped out from the stress just staring at each other not knowing what we were going do next. Suddenly, the ringing of the phone pierced the silence. It was our mortgage company informing us that they had decided to modify our mortgage which would bring our mortgage payment down over seven hundred dollars a month. If that weren’t enough they decided to modify it for the LIFE of the loan which most places only do it for three years AND they also dropped the astronomical amount that we were underwater and brought it back down to the original mortgage price which, still puts us under water but no where near what it was and in a few years maybe it will finally be worth what we owe.
So the moral of my story here is, if there’s something you’re pushing for and you keep hitting a brick wall and slamming doors no matter what way you turn it’s very possibly God is trying to tell you, “not yet. “This is not the time”. Financially He worked things out in a big way and as for my health, well, I am leaving that to Him because I have the feeling He is working on that too..