And So, It Begins

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In my last post I talked to you about a Spiritual Reading Program I was about to start. As of tonight, I have begun that journey. You may be wondering why would someone go on a Spiritual Reading Quest? Well, for me, it’s because I want to be closer to God. I want to know Him more, I want to love Him more, I want to serve Him and be pleasing to Him. How can I do any of these things if I don’t know Him as much as possible?

As with any relationship we can’t truly love someone if we don’t take the time to truly get to know them. Same goes with God. Our purpose here is to know, love and serve God and it begins with the first step. Mine is what I like to do best. Reading. 

I also shared this book with you…

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And the author of this book is very confident that once someone begins a spiritual reading program such as this, one will feel benefits right away. I am here to tell you, she’s right. I spent much more time this evening with God through reading than I normally do, I was able to more deeply contemplate, meditate on the Scripture passage I read as well and I already feel a closer connection to Him and I can not wait to get even closer. This I believe is His gift to me and I can’t think of a better gift. 

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Knowing When To Stop

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Have you ever wanted something so much that you completely stressed yourself out for months trying to make it happen?

I have. A few years back I wanted to move back North desperately for many reasons. Mostly for my health because the medical help I need is up in the North East whereas I am in the South East. Being that we are not financially well off and all that comes with that, ie: credit scores, ready cash and the list goes on I was still looking at every single avenue possible and believe it or not there are options. Of course those options are only available if, they are supposed to happen. 

I can not tell you how many times we hit a brick wall just as we got so close to our goal we could just about taste it. Four different times. Finally, after being completely stressed out to the point of exhaustion and panic attacks I said, “Okay God, I don’t know whats happening here but one thing is glaringly obvious. You do not want us to move. I don’t pretend to understand why especially when you know my medical needs and how they are not being met here but I can’t do this anymore. YOU lead. Im tired.  I realized over those months I was pushing back against what God had in store for us and my arms were finally tired. 

Very short back story. Our mortgage was outrageous, our home was underwater in a big way and we were drowning financially. It was getting time to just walk away. In the midst of this raging storm I had, on a whim put in papers with our mortgage company asking for a modification to the mortgage. I knew it wouldn’t happen but I figured, doesn’t hurt to ask right?

On Good Friday, which also happened to be my birthday a few years ago my husband and I were sitting in our den completely wiped out from the stress just staring at each other not knowing what we were going do next. Suddenly, the ringing of the phone pierced the silence. It was our mortgage company informing us that they had decided to modify our mortgage which would bring our mortgage payment down over seven hundred dollars a month. If that weren’t enough they decided to modify it for the LIFE of the loan which most places only do it for three years AND they also dropped the astronomical amount that we were underwater and brought it back down to the original mortgage price which, still puts us under water but no where near what it was and in a few years maybe it will finally be worth what we owe.

So the moral of my story here is, if there’s something you’re pushing for and you keep hitting a brick wall and slamming doors no matter what way you turn it’s very possibly God is trying to tell you, “not yet. “This is not the time”. Financially He worked things out in a big way and as for my health, well, I am leaving that to Him because I have the feeling He is working on that too..

Have faith! 

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The Lords Day

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Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta, soon to be Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta  gave herself entirely to Jesus for her entire life. She worked for the poorest of the poor until it killed her. She emptied herself completely for love of Jesus.. 

Not all of us can be another Blessed Mother Teresa but we can follow her example each day. I pray each night to be as she was. We can give ourselves for love of God until it hurts. Mother always said for love to be real it has to hurt and she was right. She also said we can’t save everyone but we can always save just one and to “go home and love your family” that is where we begin. So today and everyday strive to love your family more and more each day. Forgiving all the little annoyances of the day, going to extra mile when you don’t feel like it and seeing  Jesus in the eyes of your loved ones. Do this for love and in obedience to Him who said “Love one another as I have loved You”… 

Bl. Mother Teresa always liked to remind her sisters with this saying,

You… Did .. It .. To.. Me…

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Incredibly Grateful

Hello Friends, 

In my post titled Life Happens I asked for prayers for my husband. I asked for them because he is having some swelling of his ankles and feet. I have to be honest and tell you, I was kind of scared and worried because I know that this can be a symptom of many things and one of those very serious issues is heart disease, usually indicating an artery blockage or many arteries. My radar was also on high alert because the Mans father passed away from heart disease as did my own so knowing this, you can imagine I would be very concerned. I tried my best not to freak out and go from 0 -60 with the worst case scenarios playing out in my head and I did okay for the most part but I also did A LOT of talking with God..I put it in the Lords hands and was ready (not sure how ready) to accept whatever the  Father decided it would be. 

Well I can only say at this moment I am so incredibly grateful to God for not allowing the above to be the issue. We saw our doctor on Friday morning and he said it’s minimal fluid retention and he’s positive it’s from the steroids that the Man has been on due to a severe case of bronchitis. He was on pretty high doses for twenty days. He also gained quite a few pounds from it as well. The doctor said a diuretic was not needed. For those who don’t know what that is, it’s a pill to make you pee a lot.. LOL.. It helps the body to remove the excess fluid build up.

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Here’s my handsome man as we were leaving the doctors office. 

The Man was told to do some walking and watch his salt intake which he doesn’t really eat much salt anyway and the body should absorb the fluid. I honestly can not tell you how relieved I am. Me and the Man can bicker at each other like a couple of 90 year olds but I wouldn’t want to bicker with anyone else. Thank you to all of you who read my post (and I know there were many of you) and thank you even more for any prayers you may have prayed for us. 

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Are You In The Boat?

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Blessed Sunday Friends.

Today I wanted to chat with you about one of my most favorite scriptures. It’s Matthew 14:25-31. It reads. 

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

29 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

Why do I love this passage so much? Because it’s SO us don’t you agree? Let us put ourselves in this boat with the disciples for a moment. They see Jesus walking on water.. Now if we are honest, how would we react? I know I would have probably passed out cold from fear! Next we see the Lord telling them not to be afraid and he bids Peter to come to Him. Peter filled with joy at seeing our Lord is all gung ho, jumps into the water and begins to “walk on the water” towards Jesus but then….boom! Doubt slams him upside the head and he begins to sink. 

Wouldn’t agree this how most of us are in our daily life? We know in our hearts what we truly believe but then the evil one puts the tiniest of doubt in our mind and there were are the next moment second guessing our beliefs and thoughts. But fear not, the Lord will always save you from drowning provided you turn to Him in all things. Good and bad.

Today, let us turn to the Lord. Allow Him to permeate every aspect of your life from the smallest mundane task to the biggest decisions you will ever have to make. He wants to be part of it all but we must ask. He will never force Himself upon us.. Turn yourself and your life over to Him today. Allow Him to have complete control and rest in the peace knowing that no matter what is causing you to drown, if you only reach your hand to the Lord he will reach back and pull you to safety.. 

God bless you today and always.. 

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Remember The Sabbath

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Brothers and sisters:
Love is patient, love is kind.
It is not jealous, it is not pompous,
it is not inflated, it is not rude,
it does not seek its own interests,
it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-13

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Suffering Is a Gift?

Some of you may be looking at the title of my post and thinking, “has she gone off her rocker?” Well, not quite yet anyway.. I wanted to talk about suffering and the way most of us look at it..Most people, myself included up until a few years ago looked at suffering as a useless and horrible part of life…Suffering is something we all want and try to avoid but what happens when you can’t do either? How do you deal with that fact? At some point in order not to “go off our rockers” we need to figure out a way to live with our suffering and try and see if it does have a part to play in life and for me, it’s taken twenty years and I’ve been given some answers to all my questions about my daily suffering.

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As most of you know I am a Catholic Christian and my faith is everything to me. I also pray a lot throughout the day and each night. You also may or may not know that I have suffered with illness for the last twenty years which includes not feeling well on a daily basis, pain that is better or worse depending on the day but you learn to push through it all. Then there are the days and nights where I can be physically feeling so badly and in so much pain I don’t know if I’ll make it to the next day. It’s on those kind of days and nights God gave me the blessing of insight and knowledge about my pain and sickness. 

I have learned to use it and use it for the good of others. When my pain and sickness feels unbearable I offer it to the Lord through the Immaculate Heart of Mary for the good of those here on earth that I love, for an end to abortion, for the help of Christians around the world being tortured, for the souls in purgatory, for the sick, the poor etc. and in this I have learned that as crazy as you may think this sounds, our suffering can be a gift.  Now I’m sure you’re scratching your head saying to yourself, “how can that be? now I know she’s lost it”..

Look at it this way.. Most people, notice I said most not all. Most people who are perfectly healthy are usually concerned with all the things that are happening in their lives, where they want to be, what they want to get, the things they want to do etc. When we are in a happy state in life we rarely think of those who are not. It’s just human nature. We have become such a busy society that unless something forces us to slow down and see the world around us we don’t stop. We keep rushing through life like bulls in a china shop never seeing those in need here on earth and those no longer with us. 

When you are chronically ill you have to stop. You aren’t given much of a choice. It is then that I began to ask and learn about suffering and what it all means and why does it even exist. What I learned is that God allows us to suffer at times and all suffering has use and meaning. This is why it is a gift. If we take that suffering and offer it back to our Lord for the good of others it doesn’t go to waste. God doesn’t waste anything not even our pain.

It is an absolute gift and blessing to be able to pray for others and their needs. It is a gift and a blessing to pray for those holy souls still in purgatory (if you’re not Catholic you probably don’t believe in purgatory but I can tell you it’s a real place). So even though I do not wish to suffer, I do not welcome sickness and pain but since I have both I thank God for them because had I not had either I would have never taken the time out of my daily life to think of others before myself. And I thank God for giving me the blessing of understanding these things. I thank Him for the blessing of being able to offer my suffering for others because He has made it known to my heart that suffering while it may look like it is in vain it is infact just the opposite. He gives me the gift to give to others who may not be able to pray for themselves. He gives me the gift to be able to join my prayers through my suffering to those of His Saints and Angels.

So yes, you can have happiness and joy in the midst of suffering and pain and yes, your suffering is useful and yes your suffering can be a gift.