That’s All Folks!

thats-all-folks

Hey everyone! Welcome to my weekly wrap up where I write about what this past week was like.. 

And…….not much to write about today.. I didn’t do a whole lot. I didn’t go out much either. It’s my PMS week, yes I know, TMI but hey, this is my life and that is well, sadly, a huge part of it.. So my body isn’t feeling up to ‘par’ not that it ever is but it’s not feeling up to.. hmm……half the par it usually does? Do ya’ll know about the ‘spoon theory”? If not you can read about it here.

The gist of it is, people who have chronic illness, disability of some kind etc have limited amounts of energy so, we get a certain amount of spoons to use each day. This represents our energy. Each thing you do each day will cost you a certain amount of spoons. When you’re spoons run out, you should be finished with whatever you are doing and ready to rest. The reality is for most of us, we run out of spoons before we are halfway through with our day. Meaning, there are never enough spoons in the day just as people who aren’t sick say “there are never enough hours in the day”.

For me this week my motto is, “I’m always a day late and spoon short” see what I did there? It’s usually, ” I’m always a day late and dollar short” but since I don’t have any dollars either I just replaced it with spoons. Cleaver, yes I know.. Today, Friday, I discovered the art if you call it that, of listening to audio books. I want to try and finish the crochet blanket I’ve been working on for my husband for the last eight months before the cooler weather gets here but I can never seem to make myself sit still long enough anymore. I tried watching YouTube videos but can’t crochet and try and watch an interesting video at the same time so this morning I hunted for a free app on my phone and found one. It’s called LibriVox. I chose Jane Austins “Pride and Prejudice” not that I haven’t read and seen the movies a hundred times but I like it. I began listened and crocheting and ya know, I liked it! I found it very relaxing and it’s a good way to keep myself active while I can’t be active if you know what I mean. 

I did go out on Thursday to take my two old boys Jake and Matty to the vet for check ups and nail clippings. I did get the results of Matty’s blood work today. It was not what we expected but, that’s a post for another day. I have the feeling my body is going to be keeping me it’s prisoner this weekend so I will be a couch and bed potato listening to my new found enjoyment of audio books and working on my husbands blanket when I can.. Yes I know, just so exciting my life is.. 

How was your week? What are your weekend plans? 

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That's All Folks!

thats-all-folks

Hey everyone! Welcome to my weekly wrap up where I write about what this past week was like.. 

And…….not much to write about today.. I didn’t do a whole lot. I didn’t go out much either. It’s my PMS week, yes I know, TMI but hey, this is my life and that is well, sadly, a huge part of it.. So my body isn’t feeling up to ‘par’ not that it ever is but it’s not feeling up to.. hmm……half the par it usually does? Do ya’ll know about the ‘spoon theory”? If not you can read about it here.

The gist of it is, people who have chronic illness, disability of some kind etc have limited amounts of energy so, we get a certain amount of spoons to use each day. This represents our energy. Each thing you do each day will cost you a certain amount of spoons. When you’re spoons run out, you should be finished with whatever you are doing and ready to rest. The reality is for most of us, we run out of spoons before we are halfway through with our day. Meaning, there are never enough spoons in the day just as people who aren’t sick say “there are never enough hours in the day”.

For me this week my motto is, “I’m always a day late and spoon short” see what I did there? It’s usually, ” I’m always a day late and dollar short” but since I don’t have any dollars either I just replaced it with spoons. Cleaver, yes I know.. Today, Friday, I discovered the art if you call it that, of listening to audio books. I want to try and finish the crochet blanket I’ve been working on for my husband for the last eight months before the cooler weather gets here but I can never seem to make myself sit still long enough anymore. I tried watching YouTube videos but can’t crochet and try and watch an interesting video at the same time so this morning I hunted for a free app on my phone and found one. It’s called LibriVox. I chose Jane Austins “Pride and Prejudice” not that I haven’t read and seen the movies a hundred times but I like it. I began listened and crocheting and ya know, I liked it! I found it very relaxing and it’s a good way to keep myself active while I can’t be active if you know what I mean. 

I did go out on Thursday to take my two old boys Jake and Matty to the vet for check ups and nail clippings. I did get the results of Matty’s blood work today. It was not what we expected but, that’s a post for another day. I have the feeling my body is going to be keeping me it’s prisoner this weekend so I will be a couch and bed potato listening to my new found enjoyment of audio books and working on my husbands blanket when I can.. Yes I know, just so exciting my life is.. 

How was your week? What are your weekend plans? 

New Sig

 

I’m Feeling It Lately

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There are many days, okay, most days that I try very hard not to complain, not to show how I am feeling and or I blow it off as no big deal but lately, sheeweee, I am having a really hard time with this. 

I am beginning to wonder if the last Twenty Two or Twenty Six years are finally catching up with me. I say take your pick between years because I was originally diagnosed with Lyme Disease in 1990 but it didn’t completely disabled me until 1994 so, take your pick. To me, twenty two, twenty six, it really doesn’t matter. Bottom line is, it’s been a long time. 

The last eight months or so I now suffer daily, excruciating pain like I never had in all my years of chronic illness. Which tells me, either something ‘new’ is going on or the old stuff is getting worse. I haven’t figured it out yet, don’t know if I ever will. 

One of the hardest parts is living in the South none of the doctors here and trust me, I’ve seen plenty of them understand , are not educated in nor do they care to be educated in Lyme disease and it’s associated tick born illnesses. It kind of leaves me hanging on a cliff daily just wondering when I’ll fall over. Not the easiest way to live but, I have faith that God knows what’s in store for me be it good or bad I know He will be with me.

Each day I literally drag myself out of bed and force myself to begin the day with whatever that entails. Usually it’s feeding the five mouths with four paws and then it’s off to the races taking care to see my husband has what he needs and then what my house needs. In typical female fashion I put my own needs last but as of late, I’m not even sure what those needs are anymore. See what I’m saying? My brain fog is so thick that if I were a boat lost at sea in the fog I’d capsize and drown. Not so sure I’m not drowning now but I will continue to do as I try too. Each day I will give my life and my day to the Lord, ask for guidance, ask for the intelligence to recognize his guidance and then follow it and Him. 

New Sig

 

I'm Feeling It Lately

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There are many days, okay, most days that I try very hard not to complain, not to show how I am feeling and or I blow it off as no big deal but lately, sheeweee, I am having a really hard time with this. 

I am beginning to wonder if the last Twenty Two or Twenty Six years are finally catching up with me. I say take your pick between years because I was originally diagnosed with Lyme Disease in 1990 but it didn’t completely disabled me until 1994 so, take your pick. To me, twenty two, twenty six, it really doesn’t matter. Bottom line is, it’s been a long time. 

The last eight months or so I now suffer daily, excruciating pain like I never had in all my years of chronic illness. Which tells me, either something ‘new’ is going on or the old stuff is getting worse. I haven’t figured it out yet, don’t know if I ever will. 

One of the hardest parts is living in the South none of the doctors here and trust me, I’ve seen plenty of them understand , are not educated in nor do they care to be educated in Lyme disease and it’s associated tick born illnesses. It kind of leaves me hanging on a cliff daily just wondering when I’ll fall over. Not the easiest way to live but, I have faith that God knows what’s in store for me be it good or bad I know He will be with me.

Each day I literally drag myself out of bed and force myself to begin the day with whatever that entails. Usually it’s feeding the five mouths with four paws and then it’s off to the races taking care to see my husband has what he needs and then what my house needs. In typical female fashion I put my own needs last but as of late, I’m not even sure what those needs are anymore. See what I’m saying? My brain fog is so thick that if I were a boat lost at sea in the fog I’d capsize and drown. Not so sure I’m not drowning now but I will continue to do as I try too. Each day I will give my life and my day to the Lord, ask for guidance, ask for the intelligence to recognize his guidance and then follow it and Him. 

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Blessings

BLESSINGS

Life is hard sometimes. Okay, life is hard most of the time but in between the hard times lay the blessings if we are smart enough to see them and recognize them. Last week was a bit rough for us here in our home. Our central air conditioning blew out on us. It was the compressor and there was no way to fix it because it was so old they didn’t even make the part anymore. It needed to be replaced. There was no question but, in replacing the air conditioning we also had to replace the heating as they run through the same unit.  You’re talking a lot of money. $4500.00 US worth. My husband and I don’t have that kind of money so we panicked. It was incredibly hot here the last two weeks with temperatures of 90’s and heat indexes to go with it in the 110’s. Well thankfully a family member came through for us and we were able to replace it.

It couldn’t be installed though until Wednesday. In the midst of this I was sick from the heat and my body decided it would add some more sickness ontop of my usual chronic sickness. I won’t go into detail but, suffice it to say, “it’s a female thing”.  We ended up spending from Saturday evening until Wednesday evening in the scorching, un-breathable humid weather for five days. Wednesday evening after the new unit had been installed and the air was cooled to the point I was actually cold I can not tell you how grateful we are. 

I spent Thursday cleaning, doing laundry, washing and changing the bedding. At the end of the night, I was tired but I was happy and COOL!. Yes, I am one of those people who needs a clean home to feel peace in my home. I can’t control much in this life but a clean home is the one thing I can control.

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On Friday we learned that a friend had tragically passed away. It was a horrific way to die and so I won’t go into detail except to say that he was only 48 years old and it made me VERY aware of all the blessings in my life. I try everyday to be thankful and grateful. The things we take for granted truly are our biggest blessings. Such as, having another day with those we love, a cool house in the summer and a warm house in the winter. Having a roof over our heads at all.. Clothing on our backs, food in our stomachs, breath in our lungs. The blessing of knowing that even if we are suffering we still have been given and are given each day still more blessings and that there are others in this world who don’t even possess the basic necessities to sustain life.  

Life is difficult. It’s even more difficult when you have financial, family and or health problems but even through all these issue’s the good Lord sends His blessings. They are there. We just have to be aware enough to see them, recognize them and thank God for them.

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Resetting??? My Clock Part II #*(%%#$

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Yep.. Thats pretty much what it’s looked like. Every once in a while for only a little space in time I forget that I have been ill for over twenty five years and my body doesn’t work like those who are healthy. I get these ideas like, the whole trying to reset my body clock and think to myself, “this is gonna be great. I’ll have so much more time to do things. I won’t be as tired. I’ll finally be on a good sleep schedule” and the list goes on.

Then…..reality comes along and slaps me upside the head and reminds me that my body doesn’t ever do as I wish it to. It does as it pleases. Kind of like a hormonal fourteen year old girl. Its pissing and moaning one minute, sweet as pie the next and before you know, looking to rip your head off. 

I did try on Monday. I went to bed Sunday night at my usual time, Eleven – Thirty Pm or there abouts but I forced myself to get up at Five – Thirty AM and stay up. HUGE mistake for me. In the afternoon, I take a nap every afternoon. Yeah Im not really OLD I just NEED one every day! Anywho, I forced myself to only sleep in the afternoon for an hour. Second huge mistake. By Seven – Thirty on Monday evening I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open but my body was so wired from the lack of sleep my muscles  would not let me sleep!. I suffered all night feeling like I had been hit by a bus until midnight when my body finally decided it would allow me to go to bed. 

Then I thought well Okay, this is clearly not going to work. Maybe I should do what I do best and allow my body to tell me what it’s going to do. Wouldn’t you know Tuesday night about Ten PM I closed my eyes for what I thought was like five minutes. Then next thing I knew it was 5:00 AM!….Is it possible my body is going to allow me this one small thing to be in my control? Could it be? I don’t trust the SOB! It always dangles things in front of me only to snatch it away again but I am going to do what I did Tuesday afternoon. Im going to take my two and a half hour nap and see what time I fall asleep tonight. Maybe this reverse psychology will work on my body? I”ll let you know!.

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