The Lords Day

14368801_1445332352160336_6284552891496655010_n

But what does it mean to love God? It means to keep the Lords Commandment. “Love one another as I have loved you”…It means staying away from sin as much as possible so not to offend God who is truly our Father. Would you do something purposely to hurt your earthly father? I hope not. So why would we intentionally do something to hurt God our Father who loves us more than anyone ever could? Who blesses us daily when we deserve none of His blessings but His wrath?.. 

Advertisements

Knowing When To Stop

14183838_1179674358759792_7091166439166047440_n

Have you ever wanted something so much that you completely stressed yourself out for months trying to make it happen?

I have. A few years back I wanted to move back North desperately for many reasons. Mostly for my health because the medical help I need is up in the North East whereas I am in the South East. Being that we are not financially well off and all that comes with that, ie: credit scores, ready cash and the list goes on I was still looking at every single avenue possible and believe it or not there are options. Of course those options are only available if, they are supposed to happen. 

I can not tell you how many times we hit a brick wall just as we got so close to our goal we could just about taste it. Four different times. Finally, after being completely stressed out to the point of exhaustion and panic attacks I said, “Okay God, I don’t know whats happening here but one thing is glaringly obvious. You do not want us to move. I don’t pretend to understand why especially when you know my medical needs and how they are not being met here but I can’t do this anymore. YOU lead. Im tired.  I realized over those months I was pushing back against what God had in store for us and my arms were finally tired. 

Very short back story. Our mortgage was outrageous, our home was underwater in a big way and we were drowning financially. It was getting time to just walk away. In the midst of this raging storm I had, on a whim put in papers with our mortgage company asking for a modification to the mortgage. I knew it wouldn’t happen but I figured, doesn’t hurt to ask right?

On Good Friday, which also happened to be my birthday a few years ago my husband and I were sitting in our den completely wiped out from the stress just staring at each other not knowing what we were going do next. Suddenly, the ringing of the phone pierced the silence. It was our mortgage company informing us that they had decided to modify our mortgage which would bring our mortgage payment down over seven hundred dollars a month. If that weren’t enough they decided to modify it for the LIFE of the loan which most places only do it for three years AND they also dropped the astronomical amount that we were underwater and brought it back down to the original mortgage price which, still puts us under water but no where near what it was and in a few years maybe it will finally be worth what we owe.

So the moral of my story here is, if there’s something you’re pushing for and you keep hitting a brick wall and slamming doors no matter what way you turn it’s very possibly God is trying to tell you, “not yet. “This is not the time”. Financially He worked things out in a big way and as for my health, well, I am leaving that to Him because I have the feeling He is working on that too..

Have faith! 

New Sig

 

I'm Feeling It Lately

13466411_1228904163788500_8860555414444616416_n

There are many days, okay, most days that I try very hard not to complain, not to show how I am feeling and or I blow it off as no big deal but lately, sheeweee, I am having a really hard time with this. 

I am beginning to wonder if the last Twenty Two or Twenty Six years are finally catching up with me. I say take your pick between years because I was originally diagnosed with Lyme Disease in 1990 but it didn’t completely disabled me until 1994 so, take your pick. To me, twenty two, twenty six, it really doesn’t matter. Bottom line is, it’s been a long time. 

The last eight months or so I now suffer daily, excruciating pain like I never had in all my years of chronic illness. Which tells me, either something ‘new’ is going on or the old stuff is getting worse. I haven’t figured it out yet, don’t know if I ever will. 

One of the hardest parts is living in the South none of the doctors here and trust me, I’ve seen plenty of them understand , are not educated in nor do they care to be educated in Lyme disease and it’s associated tick born illnesses. It kind of leaves me hanging on a cliff daily just wondering when I’ll fall over. Not the easiest way to live but, I have faith that God knows what’s in store for me be it good or bad I know He will be with me.

Each day I literally drag myself out of bed and force myself to begin the day with whatever that entails. Usually it’s feeding the five mouths with four paws and then it’s off to the races taking care to see my husband has what he needs and then what my house needs. In typical female fashion I put my own needs last but as of late, I’m not even sure what those needs are anymore. See what I’m saying? My brain fog is so thick that if I were a boat lost at sea in the fog I’d capsize and drown. Not so sure I’m not drowning now but I will continue to do as I try too. Each day I will give my life and my day to the Lord, ask for guidance, ask for the intelligence to recognize his guidance and then follow it and Him. 

New Sig

 

I’m Feeling It Lately

13466411_1228904163788500_8860555414444616416_n

There are many days, okay, most days that I try very hard not to complain, not to show how I am feeling and or I blow it off as no big deal but lately, sheeweee, I am having a really hard time with this. 

I am beginning to wonder if the last Twenty Two or Twenty Six years are finally catching up with me. I say take your pick between years because I was originally diagnosed with Lyme Disease in 1990 but it didn’t completely disabled me until 1994 so, take your pick. To me, twenty two, twenty six, it really doesn’t matter. Bottom line is, it’s been a long time. 

The last eight months or so I now suffer daily, excruciating pain like I never had in all my years of chronic illness. Which tells me, either something ‘new’ is going on or the old stuff is getting worse. I haven’t figured it out yet, don’t know if I ever will. 

One of the hardest parts is living in the South none of the doctors here and trust me, I’ve seen plenty of them understand , are not educated in nor do they care to be educated in Lyme disease and it’s associated tick born illnesses. It kind of leaves me hanging on a cliff daily just wondering when I’ll fall over. Not the easiest way to live but, I have faith that God knows what’s in store for me be it good or bad I know He will be with me.

Each day I literally drag myself out of bed and force myself to begin the day with whatever that entails. Usually it’s feeding the five mouths with four paws and then it’s off to the races taking care to see my husband has what he needs and then what my house needs. In typical female fashion I put my own needs last but as of late, I’m not even sure what those needs are anymore. See what I’m saying? My brain fog is so thick that if I were a boat lost at sea in the fog I’d capsize and drown. Not so sure I’m not drowning now but I will continue to do as I try too. Each day I will give my life and my day to the Lord, ask for guidance, ask for the intelligence to recognize his guidance and then follow it and Him. 

New Sig