Hi there remember me?
Yeah thats about the gist of it.. Again, I apologize for not having posted in a bit but things have been a bit crazy in my life. When aren’t things crazy in my life? When I’m sleeping? No, not even then. You wouldn’t believe the kinds of things I dream if I told you.. My mind is a scary place. Sometimes I don’t even wanna go in there!.
In my last post you may remember me telling you that we had found a place, had a lease from the owner and were just about to sign and send the security check but I that I didn’t want to say too much for fear of jinxing it? Well, I guess I should have told you!. Ready for this? Thursday of last week my husband called the owner to tell her we had signed the lease and would be mailing the lease and the check out on Friday morning to be on the lookout for it. He left a message and we waited for a call back. We knew we’d here from her since she’s always called back within an hour or so. Five hours later, no return call so I thought, eh, she must have gotten busy, we’ll hear from her. And…. we did…
I went to check my email about 7 pm that evening to find an email from the home owner. I thought maybe she was just busy and couldn’t talk so decided to email instead. After I read the first sentence I felt like I’d been kicked in the gut. She wrote” I am sorry to tell you that we can’t rent to you. It is due to a personal situation I would rather not go into but I am sorry we are just letting you know now. We are regretful this has happened but we do hope you find a home soon”.. Honestly, I was dumbfounded. This was the FOURTH, count em, FOURTH lease that has now fallen through at the last minute. I was upset, angry, sick to my stomach etc but decided to take the high road and I replied with ” I too am regretful and sorry about this as we really loved your home but we understand life throws us curve balls we never expect. Thank you for letting us know”.. I was surprised that she also responded to my email and said it had to do with her daughter although no real detail and that she would keep her eyes out for a house and let us know if she came across one. I don’t expect to hear from her..I have to tell you that I am beyond exhausted with all this. Things like this have been happening to us since January now. Four leases, and they all fell through just as we were to sign on the dotted line.
So as I always do, it’s in Gods hands as its always been. Where have I been since my last post? I’ve been spending more and more time with Jesus. HE is the only one who gives me peace even in the midst of turmoil. I pray all day everyday. Small prayers throughout the day and longer ones at night. Lately even more so. Ive also been spending atleast an hour each night before bed with Him in Scripture. He is my constant in this insane chaos I call my life. Unfortunately not knowing where we are moving to or when or even if now is taking up most of my thinking and blogging just has to be put on the back burner until I can clear some space in my head.
I keep asking God if we aren’t supposed to move back home. In my head that can’t be right for I know the reasons I need to move back home but maybe God has other plans. I just wish I knew what they were. Maybe I am being tested. I tell Him all the time that I trust completely in Him with everything, with my very life. Maybe He wants to strengthen that trust because right now we are pretty much up the proverbial stream without a paddle in every single area of our lives and I have given our lives and everything in them over to the Lord.
So peeps, I am not sure what happens next but I know God does. So I will trust and wait on Him.
PS: I hope this post made some sense. I am having a really hard time lately putting my thoughts together. If it was a little all over the place, sorry about that..